i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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