Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
