so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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