I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Are we still banned from the library?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
