I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Randomize
