I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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