hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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