You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
