he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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