she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
