He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Screwed.edu
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
