Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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