at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
