I cockslap morals
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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