i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
