I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
