i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I party with great urgency now.
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