I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
