well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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