direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
