Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
