I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
