is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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