My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize