is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
