he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
