I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
