i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
