when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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