I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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