Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
