i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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