I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
