I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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