Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
