Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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