Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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