just come out here and I will go home with you...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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