big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
