I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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