I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
