No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
