I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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