she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize