I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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