Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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