Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
