The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
