She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
