She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
