Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
