you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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