Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
