Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
