so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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