Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
