You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize