She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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