She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
ttyl tear gas
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize