i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just found a bag of teeth...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
