Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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