THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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