if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
