The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
