K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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